Living in Disorientation – And Finally Finding My Way Out

For years, I thought maybe I was just slow. Or not trying hard enough.

I had this constant sense that I was on the outside of conversations. Always one step behind. The unbelievable part is: I didn't even realise I was living in a state of disorientation.

Understanding Disorientation

Disorientation is something Ron Davis explains beautifully in his book The Gift of Dyslexia*. He describes orientation as knowing where you are in space both mentally and physically. It's how we perceive the world and make sense of it.

Orientation is putting oneself in the proper position for the true facts and conditions. That's what it means to be oriented.

But when sensory inputs get overloaded, or they don't match, your brain scrambles to correct it. That's disorientation. As Davis describes it: "Disorientation is a condition in which the brain is not receiving what the eyes see or the ears hear. The brain is seeing what it thinks the eyes are seeing and what the ears are hearing. The sense of balance and movement is altered."

It’s not a glitch. It’s not a fault. It’s actually a normal brain function.However, for some people, especially those with dyslexia or neurodiverse minds, it happens more frequently because their tolerance for confusion is much lower.

The "Mind's Eye" Phenomenon

Here's the part I found mind-blowing: There's a kind of mind's eye... a point in your mind where you "look" at your thoughts and inner pictures. When that point shifts, even just slightly, everything you experience through your senses becomes distorted.

You might misread words, lose track of what someone's saying, forget what you just learned five minutes ago, bump into door frames, or feel completely out of sync with the world.

That's what was happening to me. But I didn't know it.

My Experience Living Disoriented

I just thought I was weird. Or not paying attention. Or maybe that I wasn't as smart as other people.

In school, I'd read a passage and forget it immediately. So I'd write and rewrite notes. Pages of them. But I never read them again because they didn't make sense to me later. Trying to memorise things felt like stuffing clouds into boxes.

Even though I could read and spell just fine, I struggled to organise my thoughts into essays. I’d sit in class listening to teachers explain concepts, and while other students were nodding along, I felt completely lost.

It was the same in staff meetings. My mind would often wander, and I’d find myself thinking, “Wait, what just happened?” It felt like everyone else had received a set of instructions that I somehow missed.

Tests were especially brutal. I'd study for hours, feel like I knew the material, then sit down for the exam and... complete blank. Like my brain had just wiped itself clean.

And then there was the clumsiness. I'd bump into things that weren't even there. Trip over shadows. Completely lose my dignity when I did fall, sprawling unglamorously in public. It felt like my body was acting without checking in with my eyes first, like my limbs were running ahead of me.

I honestly felt like an Oompa Loompa in my own skin. But again, I just thought "that's just me."

The Turning Point

I found the Davis program.

Suddenly, I had language for my experience. More than that, I had tools! Tools that helped me bring my focus back and anchor myself.

It was like the fog lifted. I could finally hear people and really understand what they were saying. I could read and actually remember what I'd just read. I could follow instructions without zoning out halfway through.

Everything became clearer. Like I had stepped into sync with the world around me.

Finding your true orientation is incredibly powerful and opens up a whole different world that you were unaware of before.

A Profound Realisation

That's when I realised something profound: If I had lived in disorientation for most of my life without knowing it, how many others are doing the same?

How many people are sitting in classrooms, at work, in conversations, feeling like they're not quite there and assuming it's just their fault?

For Anyone Who Relates

If any of this sounds familiar, if you've ever felt like you're just pretending to keep up or like something's not quite lining up in your world, please know:

You're not broken or a little weird. It's quite possible that you might just be disoriented.

And there are ways to find your orientation.

You deserve clarity. You deserve to feel connected. And trust me...it's absolutely possible.

*Ronald Davis's "The Gift of Dyslexia" is a highly recommended read for anyone who wants to discover more about disorientation. This book changed my life and brought me to where I am today.