Ever Read Something Twice And Still Not Remember It? Now Imagine A Lifetime Of It.
You’d never have guessed it to look at her, but she’d spent most of her life certain she was the dumb one.
She was well into her sixties by the time she came to see me. She could read perfectly well, that wasn’t the problem. Unfortunately, she was unable to remember most of what she’d read. She’d read something, and moments later it was gone, as though she’d never read it at all.
For most of her working life she’d taken it to heart. That something about her simply didn’t measure up. That she’d somehow missed whatever everyone else had.
Of course, none of it was true. But when you’ve believed a story about yourself for sixty odd years, you stop questioning it.
It showed up most in the technical side of her job. There was information she had to understand and then explain clearly to the people she served. She’d read it a hundred times, more, and still it wouldn’t hold. And when she came to explain it, she’d get muddled, tangled up in the detail, losing the thread of something she’d gone over again and again.
You can imagine what that does to a person’s confidence. How it holds you back from going further, from backing yourself, when the one thing you need to rely on keeps slipping away. It was exhausting, and it was frustrating. Worse, her colleagues had started to wonder whether she was suited to the job at all. That doubt sat on her shoulders every day, and little by little it wore her confidence away.
That’s the thing about this kind of struggle. It rarely shows on the outside. It’s held on the inside, for years, by people who are clever and capable, whose minds simply work in a different way to what everyone around them expects. It doesn’t look like anything on the surface, and it takes a trained eye to pick up what’s actually going on.
So here is the part I wish you could have seen.
Once we worked together, and she learned to use visual strategies rather than leaning on her memory alone, it was incredible to see. What a transformation it was, from someone weighed down by self doubt to someone who owned it, confidently stepping up and explaining those technical terms without missing a beat, showing her colleagues that yes, she absolutely deserved her place.
The information stays with her now. She reads something and it’s there the next day. The technical part of her job that used to tie her in knots is just a part of her day.
She’s confident. She’s capable. And she told me she feels happier and more settled in herself than she has in a very long time.
That is what this work is really about. Not reading a little better, or coping a little longer. It’s a person who no longer needs to fight their own mind to do the things that once felt impossible. Someone with the confidence and the self belief to manage on their own, and get on with their life.
That’s the goal, every single time. Independence.
The truth is, she’d been capable all along. Her mind simply works in a visual way. Once she stopped fighting that and started working with it, everything that had felt out of reach began to make sense.
If you’re reading this with someone in mind, a child, or yourself, and you’ve got that quiet feeling that there’s more to it than meets the eye, there’s a simple place to start.
I’ve made a free two minute quiz. It names the pattern you’re seeing, and tells you whether it’s the ordinary sort of struggle, or the kind that has a reason behind it.
➡ Take it here: https://www.dyslexiaunpuzzled.co.nz/whats-going-on
Nikki Palamountain is a Specialist Dyslexia and Neurodiversity Consultant and the founder of Dyslexia Unpuzzled in Hawke’s Bay. She works one to one with people of all ages who think in a visual way, helping them understand how their own mind works and finally make sense of learning. Find out more at dyslexiaunpuzzled.co.nz.
