Does Your Child Spell "Because" Three Ways on One Page?

When parents first come to see me, they want to know what's wrong. They want to know why their child can't learn the same way the rest of the family has, and why reading is so hard for them to pick up when their brothers and sisters devoured books. Why sounding out is such a struggle, why reading every night is slow and laborious for everyone at the kitchen table, why nothing they've tried has made any difference, and why they're still not making any progress at school.

Usually, they've been reassured along the way. It's OK, they'll get there in their own time, just keep reading with them at night and helping them with the words. So that's exactly what they do, night after night, listening to that flat, monotone voice and watching their child try to sound out "but", "put", "where" and "and", words they've seen hundreds of times before.

Here's what I explain. People who struggle with words or numbers on a page are pretty likely to be visual learners. They have incredible visual ability, they can create things in their mind in rich, three dimensional detail, and they often have vivid imaginations. But words on a page are flat and two dimensional, and they just don't match the way they naturally take in the world.

The little words are the hardest of all. My colleague Anne Marie Beggs describes them as speed bumps. You can't picture "and", and you can't see "where", so for a child who thinks in pictures those words have nothing to hang on to, and every sentence becomes a stop, start, stop, start kind of journey. By the end of the page, they've worked so hard just getting through the words that the meaning of the story has gone, and all they feel is exhausted, frustrated and inadequate.

That's why more reading at night hasn't made the difference everyone hoped it would. It's also why the backwards letters most people watch for aren't really the thing to look for. These are the signs I see parents miss most often.

Clearing up the biggest myths

Myth 1: Reversing letters means dyslexia. Many young children reverse letters when they're first learning to write, and some even mirror whole words, which read perfectly when you hold a mirror up to them. It's completely normal up until about age seven or eight, so if your five year old writes a few letters backwards, that's not necessarily dyslexia, it may simply be part of learning.

Myth 2: Words never move or blur on the page. The truth is, not every brain or every pair of eyes experiences reading the same way. Some of the people I work with tell me the words blur, shimmer, slide, or even move across the page, and that experience is very real. A colleague of mine worked with someone who simply didn't know how to keep the words on the page. For others, the page looks perfectly still, but making sense of it still takes enormous effort. Either way, it's just plain hard work.

Myth 3: They just need to try harder. The last thing anyone needs to hear when they're struggling with something is to try harder or put more effort in. If effort were the answer, most of these kids would already be fluent readers. Learning challenges aren't about trying harder, they're about how the brain processes written language and written symbols, and once we understand that, we can support them in a way that matches how their brain thinks.

What does dyslexia really look like?

Ages 5 to 8

Trouble with rhyming. They struggle to hear that cat and hat rhyme, or can't think of a word that rhymes with dog.

Difficulty remembering sequences. Days of the week, months of the year, or counting to 20, one day they've got it and the next it's gone.

Letter sounds and names won't stay. They can see the letter M but can't remember that it says "mmm," even after lots of practice. Or they know M says "mmm" but have no idea what the letter is called.

Word finding struggles. They know what they want to say, but the word disappears. You can see them thinking hard, eyes looking up, lip chewing, hands near their mouth, or head in hands with a quiet "I forgot." The word's there, it just won't come when they need it.

Family history. Dyslexia often runs in families, so if you or your partner found reading, spelling or writing tough, that's a clue worth noting.

Ages 8 to 14

Reading feels exhausting. They can read, but it takes huge effort, and even short passages leave them mentally drained.

Avoiding reading at all costs. Suddenly they're hungry, tired, or need the toilet, a clear sign of frustration or anxiety.

Spelling the same word differently each time. "Because" might become "becuz," "becaus," or "becose," all on the same page.

Brilliant ideas, but hard to get them on paper. They can tell you a fantastic story, but the written version is short and full of spelling mistakes.

Extreme fatigue after school. They hold it together all day, working twice as hard to keep up, then crash when they get home, or completely lose the plot, and everyone ends up walking on eggshells.

Strong in hands on or creative areas. They often shine in art, building, drama or design, anywhere they can show what they know, and many are incredible sports players.

Signs often overlooked by adults

Reading without understanding. They can decode the words but can't tell you what they just read. Some read super fast and seemingly quite accurately, yet with zero comprehension.

Relying on pictures or guessing. They use the first letter or picture as a clue, but when the image disappears, so does the confidence.

Multiple instructions don't stick. They struggle to retain the information from multiple instructions, and will usually get the first piece right, however the rest is lost.

Clever masking strategies. They become the helper, the entertainer, or the memoriser, doing whatever it takes to hide what's hard.

Physical symptoms. Headaches during reading, sore eyes, or tummy aches before school. These are genuine stress responses, not excuses.

None of this means there is something wrong with your child. It means their brain works differently. Knowing that is the first step, but it's not a magic wand. What makes the difference is learning some tools and different strategies that support the way their brain learns best, so they become independent learners. That's always our end goal.

If you recognised your child in some of this, I've created a two minute quiz, What's actually going on with your child's learning. It names the pattern you're seeing, gives you some clarity, and tells you whether it's the ordinary sort of struggle or the kind that has a reason behind it. Link in the comments.

I spent over thirty years in classrooms, and I have dyslexia and dyspraxia myself, so I know what it is to sit there understanding something and not be able to show it. Those years taught me what doesn't work. It was retraining as a specialist that showed me what does. I now know how to get a visual thinker unstuck, so they can move forward and learn using the strengths they already have.

Here's the quiz, https://www.dyslexiaunpuzzled.co.nz/whats-going-on