December 7, 2025
He was only seven.
Bright eyes. Curious hands. Full of energy. But already feeling like school wasn't for him.
Charlie came into my office last week with his mum. He was polite, friendly, and open. But underneath that, he was tired.
Tired of getting in trouble for things he couldn't explain. Tired of trying to sit still when his body needed to move. Tired of being told off for talking when really, he was just lost.
"Maths is hard," he told me. "Sometimes I just talk to my buddy because I get bored. Then the teacher gets mad."
When he said this, his face dropped. You could see the frustration in his eyes. It made him feel sad and misunderstood. Not because he wanted to be disruptive, but because he didn't know how else to cope.
What looked like distraction was actually disconnection. What looked like misbehaviour was actually a mismatch.
Charlie has ADHD. He's a naturally active boy. But more than that, he's a boy who learns best by doing, by moving, by building.
When he came into my space, he quietly gravitated to a box of Lego-style toys. As he built, we talked. He was focused. Engaged. Calm.
It wasn't magic. It was the right environment for his brain.
Why Do So Many Children With ADHD Struggle in New Zealand Classrooms?
Because we still expect so many of our kids to learn in ways that don't match how they're wired.
In classrooms across New Zealand, children with ADHD are being asked to do the impossible: sit quietly for extended periods, maintain focus despite sensory overload, follow multi-step instructions they can't hold in working memory, and perform academically while using all their energy just to stay still.
We expect quiet bodies, still hands, and eyes front. We expect them to focus when they're overwhelmed, to perform when they're confused, and to behave when they're not being understood.
And when they can't, we label them as disruptive. Or difficult. Or disinterested.
But they're not.
They're trying to survive an experience that doesn't make space for who they are.
What Does School Feel Like for a Child With ADHD?
Sue Hall, author of Fish Don't Climb Trees, captured it perfectly:
"I don't like broccoli. If I were told I had to go to school and eat broccoli for 3 hours a day... how do they survive?"
Imagine being seven, sitting in a classroom that doesn't make sense to you. Being bombarded by words and tasks that feel like static. Your brain wandering to more exciting, more meaningful ideas. But being pulled back, told to listen, told to try harder, told to be still.
Over and over again. Day after day.
That's what school feels like for thousands of New Zealand children with ADHD.
What Are the Real Signs a Child Is Struggling, Not Misbehaving?
When we see behaviour through the lens of struggle rather than defiance, patterns emerge:
They're talking during instruction – because they've already lost the thread and need connection to stay engaged.
They're fidgeting or moving constantly – because their nervous system needs movement to regulate and focus. In fact, scientific research shows that fidgeting activates brain regions involved in attention and learning, particularly in those with ADHD. It’s not a distraction — it’s a regulation tool.
They're avoiding written work or staring at blank pages – because they have so many ideas racing around that they don't know which one to start with, or because the cognitive load of organising thoughts, holding information in working memory, and physically writing is overwhelming.
Their writing pours out in a chaotic rush – because all the action, drama, and excitement inside their heads comes tumbling out at once. It makes perfect sense to them, but readers struggle to follow because it's often devoid of punctuation or story structure.
They're wriggling in their seat or wandering around the classroom – taking their time to settle and get started on tasks because their body needs to move before their brain can engage.
They seem distracted or "away with the fairies" – because their brain has disengaged from something that feels impossible.
They're distracting others – because connection feels safer than confusion, and engaging peers is easier than engaging with work that doesn't make sense.
They're fidgeting or moving constantly – because their nervous system needs movement to regulate and focus. Research shows that for many ADHD learners, small physical movements like fidgeting can activate parts of the brain involved in attention and learning, especially during long or mentally demanding tasks.
These aren't discipline problems. These are survival strategies.
Why It’s Not Just About Sitting Still
One of the lesser-understood traits of ADHD is a natural resistance to authority — not out of defiance, but because people with ADHD often don’t instinctively recognise social hierarchies. A teacher, a parent, a peer — they’re all just people.
This means traditional power dynamics don’t always "work" the way adults expect. Commands might be questioned. Instructions challenged. Not because the child is rude — but because their brain isn’t wired to blindly follow rules, especially when those rules feel unfair or unclear.
It can cause tension in classrooms where compliance is valued more than curiosity.
But what if we flipped the script?
What if we stopped trying to make neurodivergent children fit into neurotypical systems — and instead, redesigned those systems to work better for everyone?
Because when we build classrooms and communities that make space for neurodivergent learners, we create spaces that are calmer, more inclusive, and more human — for all children.
Why Traditional Classroom Approaches Don't Work for ADHD Learners
The traditional New Zealand classroom is built around neurotypical learning patterns:
Long periods of seated instruction
Minimal movement breaks
Heavy reliance on auditory processing and working memory
Abstract concepts taught before concrete understanding
Punishment for fidgeting, talking, or moving
Expectation that "trying harder" will solve the problem
For a child with ADHD, this approach is like asking a fish to climb a tree. It's not that they can't learn. It's that we're teaching them in a language their brain doesn't speak.
What Do Children With ADHD Actually Need in the Classroom?
Movement integrated into learning, not separated from it
Movement isn't a reward for good behaviour or something to "get out of their system" before learning begins. For ADHD brains, movement is learning. It regulates the nervous system, improves focus, and supports information processing.
What this looks like:
Standing desks or wobble cushions
Regular movement breaks every 15–20 minutes
Learning activities that involve building, manipulating, or moving
Permission to fidget with quiet tools during instruction
Walking while thinking or problem-solving
Hands-on, visual, concrete learning before abstract concepts
ADHD learners often struggle with abstract thinking until they've had concrete, tactile experiences first. They need to see it, touch it, build it, and manipulate it before they can understand it conceptually.
What this looks like:
Using physical materials to teach maths concepts
Visual schedules and instructions
Building models before writing explanations
Drawing or diagramming ideas before essays
Real-world applications before theoretical rules
Shorter, clearer instructions with immediate feedback
Working memory challenges mean that long, multi-step instructions disappear before a child with ADHD can act on them. They need information delivered in small, clear chunks with opportunities to check understanding.
What this looks like:
Breaking tasks into single steps
Visual checklists they can refer back to
Checking in frequently rather than at the end
Immediate, specific feedback ("Great start on step one, now let's look at step two")
Written instructions to accompany verbal ones
Structure that creates safety, not restriction
ADHD brains thrive with clear structure, predictable routines, and knowing what comes next. This isn't about control — it's about reducing the cognitive load of constantly trying to figure out what's expected.
What this looks like:
Consistent daily routines
Visual timetables
Clear expectations explained in advance
Warnings before transitions
Designated spaces for materials and belongings
Adults who see the child, not just the behaviour
When teachers and parents understand that behaviour is communication, everything shifts. Instead of asking "How do I make this child comply?" we ask "What is this child trying to tell me? What do they need right now?"
What this looks like:
Curiosity instead of punishment
Asking "What's hard about this?" instead of "Why aren't you doing this?"
Recognising when a child is overwhelmed, not defiant
Adjusting the environment before blaming the child
Celebrating effort and progress, not just perfect outcomes
How Can Parents Support Their ADHD Child in a Struggling System?
If your child is struggling in a classroom that doesn't understand them, you're not powerless.
Communicate with teachers from a place of partnership
Share what works at home. Explain what helps your child focus, what overwhelms them, and what you've noticed about their learning style. Most teachers genuinely want to help but may not know where to start.
Advocate for reasonable adjustments
In New Zealand, children with learning differences are entitled to support. This might include movement breaks, modified instructions, extra time, or access to learning support. Don't assume the school will offer — ask.
Build your child's confidence outside of school
When school feels like failure every day, it's crucial that your child has spaces where they feel capable, creative, and valued. Sports, art, building, music, drama — find what lights them up and protect that space fiercely.
Seek assessment and support
If you suspect ADHD or another learning difference, formal assessment can open doors to understanding and support. But don't wait for a diagnosis to start helping your child. Trust what you're seeing and respond to their needs now.
Remember: You know your child best
If your instinct tells you something isn't right, believe it. You're not being overprotective or pushy. You're being their advocate in a system that wasn't built for them.
What Happens When We Get It Right?
When we shift the environment and match the support to the learner, something incredible happens.
They come alive. They concentrate. They engage.
Not because we forced them to. But because we finally made room for the way they learn best.
Charlie spent an hour in my office that day. He built. He talked. He solved problems. He laughed. And at the end, his mum looked at me with tears in her eyes.
"I haven't seen him this calm and focused in months," she said.
It wasn't that Charlie couldn't learn. It was that he'd been learning in an environment that made learning impossible.
When we changed the environment, Charlie changed too.
Not because there was something wrong with him. But because there was finally something right about the space around him.
And Charlie’s story isn’t rare.
There are thousands of Charlies in classrooms across Aotearoa. Bright, sensitive kids who are doing their very best in environments that simply weren’t built with their brains in mind. Kids who feel like failures, when really they’ve just never been given the right kind of support.
And just like Charlie, they don’t need fixing. They need to be understood.
Because when we change the environment, the child doesn't just change — they begin to thrive in a way that finally feels natural.
You don’t have to wait for school to catch up. You can start now.
If Your Child Is Struggling
If you're watching your own child struggle to stay afloat in a classroom that doesn't make sense to them, you're not imagining it. And you're not failing them.
There is another way.
You can find clarity, find a plan, and find a better fit.
What support is available:
Free learning assessments to understand your child's unique profile
Information about ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning differences
Practical strategies you can use at home and share with teachers
Individual programmes tailored to how your child's brain actually works
A listening ear from someone who's spent 30 years supporting learners like yours
Visit dyslexiaunpuzzled.co.nz to explore articles, resources, and ways we can work together.
Because every child deserves to feel like school is a place they belong. Not a place they have to survive.
About the Author
Nikki Palamountain is an expert consultant specialising in dyslexia, ADHD and dyscalculia. She works with neurodiverse children, teens and adults who need clarity, confidence and meaningful progress in their learning. Nikki supports families who are searching for real answers, offering expert insight, practical tools and reliable guidance throughout the entire learning journey.
Through her highly individualised one-to-one programmes, Nikki delivers intensive, strengths-based, hands-on learning that builds strong foundations and genuine understanding. She works closely with parents and support people to ensure they know exactly how to continue supporting learning long after the programme ends.
Her clients finish with specialised strategies, renewed confidence and a sense of certainty that grows rapidly over the time they work together. Nikki’s mission is to help neurodiverse learners feel capable, supported and genuinely successful — not just for now, but for life.
Learn more at dyslexiaunpuzzled.com.